Everyone's A Comedian

Live from Philadelphia with the number one reason...

Epic Carnival presents the

TOP 10 REASONS THE NFL NETWORK GOT DROPPED

10. NFL Network ads provoke unquenchable urge to murder

9. After the Week 17 Giants-Patriots wussout, no actual point to the network seen by, well, anyone

8. When the choice is the sixth channel of Starz or combine highlights, the sixth channel of Starz will not be denied

7. It's not just you with the all-consuming hatred of Bryant Gumbel

6. Cable and satellite providers laughing last, longest

5. Ratings have taken a sudden and inexplicable drop ever year after Week 17

4. In a recession, advertisers tend to cut down on brand campaigns to shut-ins

3. After the Patriots lost the Perfect Season, a 24-hour-a-day network on a seasonal sports just seems, you know, kind of silly

2. Environmentally questionable to continue pumping that much pure bull into the ozone

1. If they keep televising it, the cable and satellite networks risk attracting the attention of Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Wants A Ring)

What constitutes piling on?

Public Demand For NFL Net Game Nets Net Loss Of 4 Million Homes

You read that right.
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Because of the enormous ratings NFL Network's coverage of the 2007 regular season finale earned, the league-owned carrier will lose viewers.
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Go figure.
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Sports Business Daily via The Sporting News reports that EchoStar's Dish Network will remove the NFL Network service from it's most popular "America's Top 100" programming package. Only subscribers paying higher monthly fees for the "America's Top 200" tier will be able to receive the channel, a difference of four million households.
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Broadcasting And Cable quotes a NFL Network statement:

“We are aware of Dish's unfortunate decision, which is not in the best interest of its many subscribers who are football fans, especially this week, with NFL Network's exclusive coverage of the scouting combine featuring incoming college players from all over the country.”

EchoStar's actions would seem to be in retaliation for the NFL's decision to allow both CBS and NBC to carry the December 29, 2007 game between the Patriots and Giants which was originally scheduled as an NFL Network exclusive. Because of an ongoing dispute with the USA's largest cable TV companies, Dish Network was one of the few national service providers football fans could turn to for NFL Network programming last season. Allowing the most in-demand regular season game in decades to be aired on free terrestrial TV potentially cost Dish Network new subscribers.
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NFL Network is now available in thirty one million homes nationally.

Will Ferrell Throws Collinsworth Some Work

Whew!

Cris Collinsworth didn't have to go without a third gig for long. The NBC and NFL Network personality was collateral damage when HBO canceled "Inside The NFL".

Fortunately, Will Ferrell came to the rescue and cast Cris in the upcoming movie, "Step Brothers".


Yardbarker caught Cris in a red carpet moment.


What the heck was that? We thought Cris used Vin Scully's personal lighting director? (C'mon Mensch, laugh a little.)

Football announcer arrested, tasered, injured, jailed, embarrassed

Here's a first: getting news from TMZ.com.

Josh Booty, a 2-sport professional athelete and football TV-radio announcer was arrested for DUI Wednesday morning in Southern California. Police had to use a taser to control Booty, who wasn't very cooperative with police.

According to TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Booty was taken to the Orange County Jail, where he was booked -- and that's when he went ballistic.

O.C. Sheriff's spokesperson Jim Amormino tells TMZ, "Booty was belligerent and uncooperative." Amormino says his deputies used a taser -- "less than lethal force" - to contain him.

After being tazed, Josh fell to the ground, hitting his head on the floor and cracking it open. He was taken to a hospital where he was stitched up.

Josh is the brother of USC quarterback John David Booty. Fight on!

Don't forget the obligatory mugshot!

(TMZ.com)

Josh Booty has had quite the athletic career. He was a 1st round pick by the Florida Marlins in 1994, spent 5 years in the organization and hit .269 in the Majors. He was a member of the 1997 World Champions and has the ring to prove it.

Turning to football, Booty was drafted by Seattle in the 6th round of the 2001 NFL draft. The QB was traded to Cleveland where he served as a back up for 3 seasons. He signed a 2-year contract last March with Oakland, but was released during training camp in July. Booty failed to catch on with another team.

He has worked for Fox Sports and NFL Network plus Sirius and ESPN radio.

Ironically, Josh Booty is a spokesman for TruMRI in Beverly Hills.

When they examine his head, maybe he'll get an employee discount.

CUT TO BLACK: "INSIDE THE NFL" WHACKED BY HBO BOSSES

Last Supper: Now Tony, Carmella and Cris all eat with the fishes.

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"Inside The NFL", the weekly highlight and analysis show that has been an HBO staple for 31 years, was canceled today. The Super Bowl wrap-up airing this week will be the season and series finale on the pay-cable network.

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Despite the myriad football highlight shows currently on TV, "Inside" stood apart by resisting today's catch phrase mentality and concentrating on the sport. Len Dawson and Nick Buoniconti hosted the series for two decades until 2002. Current Host Bob Costas was joined by former NFL players Dan Marino, Cris Collinsworth, Cris Carter, and football writer Peter King.

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Since the show's inception, Harry Kalas provided voice over narration of highlights shot by NFL Films. The steady and reassuring sound of his voice reinforced "Inside The NFL's" reputation as a high end, high class production.

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The biggest concern at the moment is what will become of Collinsworth, who has appeared on "Inside" since 1990. A studio analyst on NBC's Sunday night package and a game analyst on NFL Network's games, HBO's decision leaves Cris only two vehicles with which to opine.

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There was no word regarding Collinsworth's future possibilities in the official HBO release announcing the show's cancellation. However the "Ask A Host" feature on the "Inside The NFL" web site gave us a chance to inquire on our own.
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If we get a response, we will post an update immediately.

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An AP story raised the possibility that "Inside The NFL" could resurface elsewhere next season. NFL Films, which owns the series, may search for another outlet or perhaps air the show on the league owned NFL Network.

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After 31 years at HBO, we hope "Inside The NFL" finds another good home for years to come.

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If just for Collinsworth's sake.

NFL NET TO CABLE OPS - GOD'S ON OUR SIDE!

Comcast's and Time Warner's holy war continues against NFL Network, but the football channel now has an ally with even higher power.

In fact, some would say Almighty.

NFL Net signed a distribution deal with Sky Angel, a self proclaimed "Christian-Centered" subscription service based in Naples, Fl. Founded in 1980, Sky Angel was originally delivered to homes via satellite, but is now changing to internet delivery to televisions via set top boxes. Sky Angel's IPTV service is currently taking pre-orders for an expected launch next month. The company will not say how many satellite subscribers it has or how many IPTV subscribers it expects.

One thing Sky Angel does not have is a wealth of sports programming. NFL Network joins a sports line up that consists of networks such as Tennis Channel and The Sportsman Channel.

Make that only consists of Tennis Channel and The Sportsman Channel.

Golf Channel? Nope. Versus? Sorry. None of the 5 ESPN networks are offered either. Then again, Dana Jacobson is clearly not Sky Angel material.

The World Wide Leader has plenty of company. Sky Angel's line-up does not include many "traditional" channels across the board.

How will NFL Network mesh with Sky Angel's other programming? CEO Rob Johnson says, “NFL Network fits in with our desire to provide America with more programming that the entire family can enjoy together.”

We're betting Johnson's entire family hasn't seen "NFL Cheerleading Playoffs" or the cheerleading documentary series "Making Of The Squad".

It has been widely reported that NFL Network charges secular cable companies and satellite providers 70 cents per customer, per month. Details of how much Sky Angel will pay per customer were not released.

Regardless, while their deal with Sky Angel may only amount to a few pennies from heaven, it's now clear that NFL Network is "On A Mission from God".

WHAT THE #&#@ DID THEY SAY?

Do you remember when analysts were always called color commentators?


Well a few off-color comments have been uttered on air lately. Disconnects between brain and mouth, Freudian slips, and good old fashioned racism popped up on no less than three recent broadcasts.



Example #1

December 28, 2007 - Atlanta Hawks @ Dallas Mavericks - FSN SOUTHWEST

Brad Davis, former NBA player and current Mavs analyst, describing a play:

“..When he has to full court press and grab and hold and everything else. And it gets to a point sometimes where the referees just get tired of f—ing calling fouls on them.”

Thanks to Sports By Brooks


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The Dallas Mavericks Play-By-Play Personalized CD features professional announcers calling out your full name as you become the hero of your favorite team. This 10 minute CD has great sound effects and music. Listen to your name called out as you lead your team to an amazing come from behind victory in game seven of the NBA Finals. Personalize the CD cover by inserting your own photo beneath the cut-out star. Makes a great gift for young fans!


Call now! Operators are standing by.



Example #2

Kelly Tilghman, Golf Channel's main play-by-play announcer pulled a Fuzzy Zoeller last Friday at a PGA event in Hawaii.


Thanks to FAN IQ

Tilghman, according to the Chicago Tribune, "has apologized after saying during Friday's telecast of the PGA Tour's opening event that today's young players should "lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley."

In a statement issued Monday, Tilghman said: "On Friday during our golf broadcast, Nick Faldo and I were discussing Tiger's dominance in the golf world and I used some poorly chosen words. I have known Tiger for 12 years and I have apologized directly to him. I also apologize to our viewers who may have been offended by my comments."

Tilghman will face no disciplinary action.

There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that she meant to say Woods should be chained to the back of a pickup truck and dragged through Texas.


Example #3

Cris Collinsworth had an unfortunate slip of the tongue on NBC's NFL playoff game between Washington and Seattle last Saturday.

As posted by Awful Announcing, Cris is talking about the Skins pressure on Matt Hasselbeck when it sounds like he says, "When that guys' 'coming' right in her face."



Sounds like Cris may be spending a little too much time watching adult movies in his hotel room.

BLIMP GIMMICK CRASHES & BURNS - NFL TURNS TO OLD NETWORKS TO SIMULCAST NEW ENGLAND'S PERFECT SEASON BID

The public demand to see New England's bid for a perfect season was too high for DirecTV's NFL Network blimp to reach.

It looks like a little political pressure went a long way.

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced this afternoon that NFL Network's coverage of Saturday night's Partiots - Giants game will be made available to everyone, via a groundbreaking simulcast on both CBS and NBC.

Why Fox, ESPN and E! were left out of the mix wasn't addressed.

Each network will be allowed to sell 18 30-second spots during the telecast and neither network will pay the NFL any additional rights fees for the game.

Politicians, especially from the Northeast states, applied pressure on the NFL, including a congressional threat to re-examine the league's anti-trust exemption.

It appears to be a win-win situation even for NFL Network as they will have the rare opportunity to promote their channel and show off their production on other companies air waves. Because of the historic nature of the game, NFL Net had planned on adding additional equipment and manpower to what was already one of the sport's biggest shows, even before the simulcast was announced. Now, the 60% of the country who don't have NFL Network can get to see the Patriots try for a perfect regular season.

Saturday night's game marks the first time a NFL game will be televised by three networks and the first time since Super Bowl I in 1967 that two networks carried the same game. CBS (NFL) and NBC (AFL) carried that game using their own production crews and on-air talent. The rival networks set up on opposite sides of the Los Angeles Coliseum, with CBS taking the traditional press box side while NBC created makeshift camera positions and a broadcast booth on the other side.

While CBS' footage of the game survives to this day, NBC's was erased before anyone realized the value it would someday have.

Those homes with NFL Network will have the chance to see 65 hours of Patriots-related programming, including a live 6 hour pre-game "NFL Total Access" show leading up to kick off.

Bryant Gumbel and Cris Collinsworth will call the action from Giants Stadium.

PARANOID PEACOCK RUFFLES NFL NET'S FEATHERS

NFL Network had more of a challenge than they had anticipated last week in getting their production and technical crew from their Thursday game in Houston out to San Francisco for another game on Saturday.

Some crew members working those broadcasts were also scheduled to work on NBC's Sunday Night telecast from Giants Stadium in New Jersey. They had planned on taking red eye flights from SF and arriving in plenty of time for the show.

However, the fierce winter storm that had battered much of the country and was forecast to be in the NY metro area on Sunday, caused NBC to call an audible. They, uh, "strongly requested" that the crew members they share with NFL Network not go to San Francisco at all, but rather travel directly to New Jersey, ensuring their presence for NBC's show.

Following lengthy discussions between the two parties, it was determined that some of the shared crew would be allowed to honor their NFL Network commitments. However, the end result was that over half of those crew members were forced to bail on a show.

NFL Network lucked out replacing those people because CBS had a crew across the bay in Oakland, setting up for a Sunday Raiders game and were able to fill the open positions.

And for those NFL Net/NBCers who actually worked in San Francisco? Naturally they all caught their scheduled flights, had no weather delays, and made it to the Meadowlands on time.

To save everyone the drama and confusion, NBC could have stepped up and been heroes. For a fraction of what they paid to digitally, uh, "enhance" Faith Hill's arms and face in the SNF show open, the Peacock Network could have chartered a plane to deliver the people they value so much.

That they chose to play bully instead speaks in volumes usually reserved for John Madden.

CAPTIVE AUDIENCE

Hotels often go to great lengths to accommodate their guest's demands. In many cases, such efforts are the difference between getting and losing valuable customers.

For the second straight year, hotels wishing to lodge NFL Network's on-air, production, and technical personnel have been required to add the station to their TV channel line-up. That's one way of getting your product in front of more people, even if it's mostly people that work for you.

At some hotels however, adding NFL Network to their system meant removing another, potentially more popular, service. This has led some to wonder just what happens when the game is over and the crew has checked out...

LOOK, UP IN THE SKY... IT'S A BIRD... IT'S A PLANE... NO, IT'S JUST A BAD GAME!

Stricken with a sore throat and hoarse voice, Bryant Gumbel will miss NFL Network's broadcast of Thursday's Denver - Houston game.

This is particularly ironic because a much sought after demographic won't be able to hear Tom Hammond (pinch hitting for Gumbel) nor analyst Chris Collinsworth anyway.

DirecTV, exploiting the ongoing feud between NFL Network and the nation's largest cable operators, will "air" the game (and the balance of NFL Network's live game schedule) via the 70 x 30 foot screen on the side of their blimp. DirecTV plans to fly the blimp over the Tampa - St. Pete area for Thursday's game as well as Saturday night's Cincinnati - San Francisco contest. Next week, NFL Network's two games will be visible to sky watchers in the Orlando area.

As the blimp can cruise at altitudes of no lower than 1,000 feet, viewers will literally only view the game. They'll have to imagine what the announcers are saying.

The DirecTV blimp will target areas whose cable companies do not offer the channel in the hopes of gaining subscribers along with the publicity.

Nobody has said who will take responsibility for any traffic accidents that may occur as a result of the obvious distraction to Florida's many elderly motorists.

RATS NEST INFESTS FEDEX FIELD

This is what can happen when some inexperienced utilities are assigned to a football crew stocked with veteran hand held guys.

Two cabled HH cams, a Steadicam and the cart were all tangled up on the near sideline at FedEx Field during a Redskins - Bears game.

It took about ten minutes until everything was straightened out.

Winter white in Washington works to warm no one on NFL Network crew

The gang from NFL Network checked in this evening from snowy DC. Snow fell throughout the day and of course was heaviest as the camera guys faxed. Figures, huh?

NFL Network's pregame set was buried under the white stuff and required a shovel to clear the roof.

The weather didn't factor in to a transmission check earlier in the day that didn't go exactly as planned. Schedules posted in the compound yesterday were revised today. Unfortunately as new schedules were posted, some of the old one weren't removed.

Among the differences in the schedule were the meal breaks. Originally slated for 1:00, lunch was adjusted to 4:00 PM when call time was moved back from 10:30 AM to noon.

Transmission was rescheduled for 1:00 PM, so naturally all crew members who read the incorrect schedule were gone as transmission check was set to begin.

Everything was taken care of eventually, although the pregame folks didn't appreciate their rehearsals being interrupted. All NFL Net transmissions from FedEx Field routs through the pregame truck, which ironically is the only mobile unit parked outside.

Now That's COLD!: NFL Network camera operator Oz Coleman-from-Dallas-Texas celebrates a successful snow angel as the crew waits for the look-see with Craig Janoff.

Ah, the fun of winter.

PEACE IN OUR TIME

On Saturday November 30, HDNet returned to Staples Center in Los Angeles for a Kings hockey game.

This time however, all local crew members were under the IATSE contract and received their regular hours and benefits contributions. The crewing service HDNet employs and the IA came to an understanding and all future HDNet shows in Southern California are expected to be under the IA contract.

ASLEEP AT THE SWITCHER

It's hard enough to get viewers when most of the country can't see your product even if they wanted to. It isn't any easier when your own master control runs a spot for a game that aired seven days ago.




(Thanks as usual to Awful Announcing)

But if you care, the Washington Redskins host the Chicago Bears next Thursday Night at 8 PM Eastern, exclusively on NFL Network.

That wasn't so tough, was it?

MORE WATCHABLE THAN THE GREEN BAY - DALLAS GAME

For those of you who couldn't see tonight's game on NFL Network and surfed around between nfl.com "look ins", we offered something to soothe your eyes.

You're welcome. Now stop emailing about her, ok?

The game just ended.

Dallas led 27 - 17 at the half, 27 - 24 after 3, and won 37 - 27. You missed a pretty good one! Fire your cable company!

Favre was knocked out of the game in the 2nd quarter, NFL Network mistakenly ran a commercial for last week's Falcons - Colts game and something or someone tore a huge hole in the Texas Stadium roof.

Many Thankful They Can't See This Turkey

Thanksgiving is usually a favorite holiday because many of us get to avoid the aggravation of a few days spent with aunts, uncles, cousins, and in-laws by working out of town (and getting paid time and a half for it too!)

Thanksgiving 2007 is also notable because it marks the return to the NFL stage by one it’s most accomplished network directors, Craig Janoff. (Yes we know he directed some preseason games. The games don’t count, so the shows don’t count either, okay? Go ahead, sue us.) Janoff’s final season directing MNF was 1999, which included ABC’s coverage of Super Bowl XXXIV (34), coincidentally played at the site of tonight’s game: Atlanta’s Georgia Dome.

Janoff and producer Mark Loomis head NFL Network’s 2007 slate of games, beginning with tonight’s (ahem) turkey, Indy @ Atlanta. Feel free to insert your own Michael Vick “dog of a game” joke here if you must.

Loomis returns for NFL Net’s second season of live game coverage while Janoff replaces John Gonzales, whose contract wasn’t renewed. (To add insult to injury, Gonzo then had to endure Notre Dame’s disastrous season, directing for NBC. Poor guy.)

And because it’s illegal to have a pro football package without him, Ya-Man is there too.

As you probably know, NFL Network isn’t seen my many people without DirecTV, Dish Network or some other provider that isn’t Comcast or Time Warner. And though the NFL continues to try to force their way onto the basic cable tier through lawsuits and - most recently - pleas to congress (your tax dollars at work!), their flagship broadcasts are only available to a small percentage of fans when compared to games carried by Fox, CBS, NBC and ESPN.

So, if you wondered if their coverage would mirror their audience (you know, scaled back), we have some of the tech specs of what will be used this season:

27 cameras plus clocks (via Game Creek Yankee Clipper)
13 HD hard cams (2 carts)
1 HD Super Mo hard cam
5 HD hand held cams (1 RF)
2 HD Super Mo hand held cams (1 RF)
2 HD LPS cams
Cable Cam
3 100X lenses
3 86X lenses
8 75X lenses
2 Six (6) channel EVS systems
6 Four (4) channel EVS systems
3 Super Mo EVS systems
1 Final Cut Pro Editing Suite
And a plane-cam to show what the Georgia Dome looks like at night. Live!

NFL Network is also rolling out a “new” digital still cam technology that is said to provide clearer images than those featured in other broadcasts (USA Today). Basically, they have a photographer sending high res jpegs back to the truck. It sounds like something already used on NBA games, no?

SportVision tells us they will have a new wrinkle for scoring drives that could be pretty cool.

There’s also a two hour pre and one hour post game show (via NCP 10) with ten cameras including a steadicam and a jib.

As far as audio specs go, we’re pretty sure there will be lots of mics around the Georgia Dome. There’s an A-1 and a sub mixer, plus a lot of A-2’s all busy loading up on OT as this is being written. We left messages and waited by our phones, but now it’s late and we’ve got an early call, ya know?

NFL Network’s game broadcast will have more than 120 people working in Atlanta (and on each of their eight games), which ranks them up there with NBC’s and ESPN’s prime time game crews. Their pre and post shows employ dozens more. That’s a pretty good effort when you consider how many people can’t see tonight’s game in the first place. Subtract the people tuning in but asleep from the effects of tryptophan (turkeys) or from other decapitated Thanksgiving-day fowl (Falcons), and it’s possible that NFL Network has more people working this game than they’ll have watching it.

Doesn’t matter. Janoff will have the crew all fired up like it’s another Super Bowl.